Movies That Aren't That Bad.

BE WARNED: I wrote this at 1 am without editing it. If it sucks, blame sleep deprivation. Holy. Crap. Ladies and gentlemen, for the past four years my favorite movie has been the Jennifer Lawrence movie, Silver Linings Playbook. I am so happy to say that it officially has been topped by La La Land. The plot follows Mia (played by Emma Stone), an aspiring actress, and Sebastian (played by dreamboat Ryan Gosling), a struggling jazz musician. Mia moved to the City of Stars to follow her dreams and become just like her aunt and become and actress. Sebastian has played piano in bars and struggles to follow the rules as he wishes to be free to play what he wants. The two collide and find themselves falling in love. As they both begin to find success in their fields, tensions rise and threaten their relationship. In my whole life, I have never experienced such a beautiful film. La La Land is more than just the tale of two lovers. It is a love letter to the dreamers and a visual marvel

Oh, Star Wars . You never fail to disappoint. The most recent title in the famed Star Wars series is not canon. This film, entitled Rogue One: a Star Wars Story , is by no means a tale of an angry boy who is taken away from his mother and how the dark side takes him in. This is a war movie, which yes you can classify all the Star Wars movies as “war movies”, but this one has a darker, richer theme. It feels like what would happen if you made Saving Private Ryan in space. Rogue One takes you on a journey and proves that there is more to the galaxy than the Skywalker family. We follow Jyn Erso, a rebel in the fight after being taken in by Saw Gerrera, Clones Wars veteran, after her father is taken by the Imperials. Fast forward an undescribed amount of time and we see Jyn Erso, now a war criminal, being rescued by the Rebel Alliance. The film follows Erso as she finds a hologram from her father, who designed the Death Star that says there is a flaw in the design that allows th

Yo. It's been a while. Needed to do stuff but for now I'm back. So, anyway, let's get to the review. Walking in, I was under the impression that Todd Phillips' most recent film, War Dogs , would be like previous films he made: a raunchy comedy that pushes the limits on drugs, language, and nudity. This has come to be expected from the guy who directed The Hangover trilogy and Due Date , and who produced Project X . Nope. Whoever decided this film should be marketed as a comedy needs to be fired. This film at most has one or two funny moments. They're quite brief and they serve as a reminder to us all the Todd Phillips has become very much unfunny and his golden days are behind him. It should have marketed as a "based on a true story" political drama. It probably would have done better at the box office then. The film follows two guys with weird, unpronounceable names despite the fact that they are American. David Packouz (played by Miles Teller, w

Hello. Today’s review concerns the new Lonely Island-directed, Judd Apatow-produced comedy, Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping. The plot surrounds the titular pop star, Conner (played by Lonely Island’s Andy Samberg). Conner grew up with his best friends, Owen and Lawrence (played by the other members, Jorma Taccone and Akiva Schaffer respectively). The three guys formed a band called Style Boyz and they had a lot of influence on the pop industry. It was when Conner’s egotistical nature overtook him that he left his band, branded himself “Conner4Real”, and started his own solo career. His first album was huge, so, like any pompous pop star would do, he films a documentary about himself as he anticipates the release of his second album. Originally described as “the most anticipated album of the decade”, it receives scathing reviews that include a -4 out of 10 on one site. Conner ignores this up until he realizes the album sold 65,000 copies in its first week (for those not familiar w

The point of this blog is to write about movies. This does not simply mean new releases, because I don’t have the money for that. Today, I’m writing about the 2013 film The Way Way Back. OK, so this movie is awesome. It is without a doubt in my mind that this is the freshest, funniest comedy I have seen in a long time. It was heart wrenching, hysterical, awkward, and raw, sometimes all in the same scene. The plot follows 14 year old Duncan (played by Liam James). Duncan is fairly awkward and doesn’t get out much. This is pointed out in the first scene where Duncan’s mother’s boyfriend, Trent (played by Steve Carell), straight up tells him he’s a “three” in his eyes on a scale from one to ten. So from the start, we know Trent is a huge jerkwad and we hate him. While spending the summer at Trent’s beach house, Duncan finds solace in going to the local water park, where rowdy Owen (played by Sam Rockwell, in probably one of the best performances I’ve seen him in) takes him under his w

First midnight showing since 2012's Prometheus. Bought tickets two weeks in advance. So pumped and excited. Couldn't wait. Oh, how utterly disappointing it was. Now, this may imply that I did not enjoy the film. I enjoyed it in the way one would enjoy laughing gas, pleasurable when used (in this case viewed), but after it's over you're in a lot of pain. Suicide Squad is DC's attempt at an anti-hero team. The comics were very enjoyable, so most expected to enjoy the movie. I will say it is not as bad as the mainstream critics say it was, but that said, it wasn't much better. The film follows Deadshot (Played by Will Smith), Harley Quinn (Played by Margot Robbie), Rick Flag (Joel Kinnaman), Captain Boomerang (Jai Courtney), El Diablo (Jay Hernandez), and Killer Croc (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) as they go through Midway City, attempting to stop Enchantress (Cara Delevingne). Everyone is the city has evacuated, so the government sends the most disposable sup

For my first review, I review the new-ish movie Sausage Party . Be advised, this film, while animated, is not a kid-friendly movie. Sausage Party is pretty much the most offensive, disgusting, and utterly hilarious I have seen this year. You should expect this from a Seth Rogen movie. Whoever told him you couldn't make a successful adult animated movie was wrong because, at the time of writing this review, the film has grossed a total of $91.1 million at the box office. The film follows the premise of food at the local market believe that humans are Gods. When purchased, the food believes that they have been "chosen" to go to "the great beyond". Of course, being food, they are taken home to be chopped up, cooked, and eaten. The main character of the film is a sausage named Frank (voiced by Rogen). He, like all the other foods in the market, wishes to be chosen by the Gods. One day, before the Fourth of July weekend, he and his fellow sausages (voiced by Mich

Movies drive America. They bring in crowds every weekend and make millions of dollars by entertaining people for a few hours. More than ever, people are often coming away from movies with their wallets considerably lighter. That's not why I'm here. I'm here to go through that sludge we call the film industry. My name is Grant. I'm almost 18 and I want to do this full time. I mention this more so that should I be picked up by a newspaper, they will have a general idea of what I'm getting at. I'm addicted to movies. I go see movies almost every weekend, so I sort of know what I'm talking about. Another thing. Simply because the title of the blog is "Your Film Sucks!" doesn't mean every film I review will be crap. Quite the contrary actually. I review films based on how I see them, not based on every one else's opinion. I will review films on a five-star scale. Five stars makes the perfect movie. Three means your movie is solid. One